About Diets

Dear Girls,

Today I am starting a diet, but I want to tell you why.  It is not because I want to look like someone on TV or in the movies--or even because I want to look like anyone else.  It's because I want to look and feel like me again.  I want to be healthy and have energy.  I want to feel like playing with you girls.  I don't want to be tired all the time anymore.  I want to feel good about myself and my body.  I want to be healthy.

All your life, the world will tell you that you need to diet in order to have the perfect body.  They will tell you that you aren't good enough--aren't skinny enough--aren't pretty enough.  I want you to know that all of that is false.  It's a lie.  You are beautiful--no matter what the world says.  Heavenly Father created us, and He gave us each unique characteristics and qualities.  We are all equally special and beautiful.  The world should not decide what qualities are beautiful.  We should! 

If you don't feel healthy; if you don't have energy; if you know that you are eating too much of what's bad for you and not exercising--then those are reasons to go on a healthy diet.  Not to look like someone else's idea of what's beautiful. 

I love you.  You are beautiful.

Love, Mom

Baby Steps

Dear Megan,

You will be six years old in a few weeks.  Up until today, if anyone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you always said, "A Mom."  Melissa would always try to tell you that you could be a mom and something else, but you just wanted to be a mom.

Tonight, after you were tucked in, you came into Melissa's room (where I was reading her a story).  That's nothing new.  You get out of bed all the time.  But this time was different.  You head hung low, and you were wearing a very sad expression.  With a quivering voice, you explained, "Mom.  I don't want to be a mommy."

I told you that you didn't have to be a mommy, and that you had a long time before you had to worry about it, but you just kept repeating, "I don't want to be a mom."  I asked if you wanted to get married some day.  You said, "No."  I asked if you wanted your own family some day.  Your bottom lip drooped some more, tears started down your face, and you said, "I want to be in this family.  I don't want my own family."

I gave you a huge hug and explained that you would always be a part of our family.  "Forever.  No matter what.  I don't live with my mommy and daddy anymore, but they are still my family.  When you get big and start your own family, you still get to keep your old family."  You smiled, said, "Okay," and went back to bed.

A few minutes later, you began sobbing.  I went to check on you, and you sobbed louder.  "I don't want to be a mommy."  "Okay," I explained.  You don't have to be a mommy.  Why are you worried about this?"

After a moments pause, you burst into tears again and said, "I don't know how to cook!"

Oh, Megan.  You sweet girl.  You are only five, and you are already worried about not knowing how to be a grown up.

Our conversation continued with me explaining that I didn't know how to cook when I was your age, either.  You burst into a smile.  "You didn't?!!"

Before singing you to sleep, I got to explain how we learn things a little bit at a time, and as we're ready, we learn to do harder and harder things.

After I left your room, I thought a lot about our conversation.  I'm so grateful to know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, you, your daddy, and your sisters are mine forever.  If we work hard and follow the commandments, we will be a family forever.  (And when you get big, and have your own family, they'll be a part of our family forever, too.)

I'm also grateful that we get to learn things a little bit at a time.  Heavenly Father won't give us any challenge that is too hard for us to handle.  Heavenly Father promises us this in the Book of Mormon, Nephi 3:7:

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

So, fear not.  Don't worry about what you can't do.  When it's time for you to do hard things, you will be ready.  That's a promise.  Heavenly Father won't give you any challenges that you aren't strong enough to face.   And you are strong!  We'll work on the cooking thing in a few years.  Promise.

Flying High and Making Good Choices

Hi, Girls.

You are all a little young for this now, but I really liked this message.  I'm putting it here so that I will remember to show it to you someday!

I really like what the second half of the clip teaches about making choices that keep your mind and body clean.

What's in Your Backpack?

Dear Girls,

Recently, a friend of Melissa's started telling kids in her class that she didn't like Melissa. I asked Melissa what she was doing about it, and she told me that she was playing with a new friend instead. When I asked if she could make a change that would help her and the girl to become friends again, it started a conversation about forgiveness and backpacks.

When people hurt our feelings, it's like putting a rock in our backpack. The longer we carry the rock, the heavier our backpack feels. The person who hurt our feelings may be completely unaware they have done anything wrong. They are not feeling any pain, yet we are really hurting. We think about the pain all the time, and we feel worse and worse. It feels like our backpack is getting heavier and heavier. Sometimes we even take it out on other people and make them feel bad, too.

We can stop that cycle if we simply choose to forgive--to take that rock out of our backpack. Free from the weight of the rock, we can move forward and forget about it.

This morning we tested out this theory. I don't know what happened, but Melissa hurt Megan's feelings, and she chose not to apologize. Megan ran into the other room and sobbed and sobbed. When Daddy went to comfort her, he talked to her about forgiveness. I wasn't really part of the conversation, but I reminded her about carrying a rock in her backpack.

Within a few minutes, Megan was laughing. She jumped up and said, "I'm okay Mom. I took the rock out of my backpack." Then she went to her real backpack and took out a pebble. There really was a rock in her backpack!

Girls, I want you to know how important it is to forgive others--even when they don't apologize or realize that they have hurt you. When we don't forgive, our pain gets worse and worse. Once we let go, and forgive, Heavenly Father will help us get rid of the pain and move forward.

Don't forget to empty your backpacks regularly!

Love, Mom

P.S. Sometimes we hurt someone's feelings. Guess what? That puts rocks in our backpacks, too. When that happens, it's time to say we're sorry.

An Easter Message

Dear Girls,

Today is Easter.  All week we've been reading in the scriptures and talking about what Jesus did during the week before his crucifixion and resurrection.  We talked about what Jesus did for us in the Garden of Gethsemane, but I don't think we talked about it enough.

This morning, as we were getting ready for church, I thought of what I'd like to teach you--as young children--about the atonement.  Imagine that you broke your leg.  Your leg hurts and your cast itches.  I have never broken a leg.  Neither has your dad.  We can tell you we are sorry your leg hurts and try to suggest ways to make it stop itching, but since neither one of us has ever had that problem, we don't really know what it feels like.  Your Uncle Larry broke his leg a few years ago.  He knows exactly what it feels like, and he could probably tell you some ideas to make you feel more comfortable.  Do you think you might like to talk to him about your broken leg?  Do you think he might be helpful since he's felt the same kind of pain?  I think so, too.

Now, let me tell you about your older brother, Jesus Christ.  Before Jesus was crucified, he went to a garden (the Garden of Gethsemane).  There he prayed to our Father in Heaven for a long time.  During that prayer, he he took upon himself our sins and our sorrows.  I don't know how he did it, but I know that he felt every possible pain that we will ever feel in this life.  He felt disappointment, physical pain, and the terrible sorrow of sin.  He felt the pain of neglect, of shattered dreams, of losing someone we love, of failure, and of nightmares.  He knows what it's like to have your heart broken, to love someone and have them not love you back, to be embarrassed, to feel ashamed, to scrape your knee, and to break a bone.  He knows the pain of cancer and every sickness that weakens and deforms the body, and he knows the pains of those taking care of loved ones suffering from those same sicknesses.

Girls, I want you to know that whatever bad feeling you have--whatever pain you face--our Savior, Jesus Christ has felt all of those feelings.  He knows exactly how you feel and exactly how to help you feel better.  Dad and I can give you a hug and talk to you about any of your problems, but true healing will come through Jesus Christ.  When you feel sad, afraid, frustrated, or in pain, please come to me or Dad.  We love you.  But don't forget to pray.  Jesus and Heavenly Father love you, too.  They are just waiting for you to ask for help.

I wish you could never feel pain, but I know you will.  It's part of our Heavenly Father's plan.  We need pain in order to grow and become more like God.  Without pain, we would never understand true joy.  I'm grateful that my Savior, Jesus Christ atoned for our sins and for our sorrows.  Because of that important sacrifice, I know that we can repent when we make mistakes, and that we can turn to him for help whenever we are in pain.

I love you.  Don't forget to pray!

Love, Mom.