Baby Steps

Dear Megan,

You will be six years old in a few weeks.  Up until today, if anyone asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up, you always said, "A Mom."  Melissa would always try to tell you that you could be a mom and something else, but you just wanted to be a mom.

Tonight, after you were tucked in, you came into Melissa's room (where I was reading her a story).  That's nothing new.  You get out of bed all the time.  But this time was different.  You head hung low, and you were wearing a very sad expression.  With a quivering voice, you explained, "Mom.  I don't want to be a mommy."

I told you that you didn't have to be a mommy, and that you had a long time before you had to worry about it, but you just kept repeating, "I don't want to be a mom."  I asked if you wanted to get married some day.  You said, "No."  I asked if you wanted your own family some day.  Your bottom lip drooped some more, tears started down your face, and you said, "I want to be in this family.  I don't want my own family."

I gave you a huge hug and explained that you would always be a part of our family.  "Forever.  No matter what.  I don't live with my mommy and daddy anymore, but they are still my family.  When you get big and start your own family, you still get to keep your old family."  You smiled, said, "Okay," and went back to bed.

A few minutes later, you began sobbing.  I went to check on you, and you sobbed louder.  "I don't want to be a mommy."  "Okay," I explained.  You don't have to be a mommy.  Why are you worried about this?"

After a moments pause, you burst into tears again and said, "I don't know how to cook!"

Oh, Megan.  You sweet girl.  You are only five, and you are already worried about not knowing how to be a grown up.

Our conversation continued with me explaining that I didn't know how to cook when I was your age, either.  You burst into a smile.  "You didn't?!!"

Before singing you to sleep, I got to explain how we learn things a little bit at a time, and as we're ready, we learn to do harder and harder things.

After I left your room, I thought a lot about our conversation.  I'm so grateful to know that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, you, your daddy, and your sisters are mine forever.  If we work hard and follow the commandments, we will be a family forever.  (And when you get big, and have your own family, they'll be a part of our family forever, too.)

I'm also grateful that we get to learn things a little bit at a time.  Heavenly Father won't give us any challenge that is too hard for us to handle.  Heavenly Father promises us this in the Book of Mormon, Nephi 3:7:

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.

So, fear not.  Don't worry about what you can't do.  When it's time for you to do hard things, you will be ready.  That's a promise.  Heavenly Father won't give you any challenges that you aren't strong enough to face.   And you are strong!  We'll work on the cooking thing in a few years.  Promise.

Flying High and Making Good Choices

Hi, Girls.

You are all a little young for this now, but I really liked this message.  I'm putting it here so that I will remember to show it to you someday!

I really like what the second half of the clip teaches about making choices that keep your mind and body clean.

What's in Your Backpack?

Dear Girls,

Recently, a friend of Melissa's started telling kids in her class that she didn't like Melissa. I asked Melissa what she was doing about it, and she told me that she was playing with a new friend instead. When I asked if she could make a change that would help her and the girl to become friends again, it started a conversation about forgiveness and backpacks.

When people hurt our feelings, it's like putting a rock in our backpack. The longer we carry the rock, the heavier our backpack feels. The person who hurt our feelings may be completely unaware they have done anything wrong. They are not feeling any pain, yet we are really hurting. We think about the pain all the time, and we feel worse and worse. It feels like our backpack is getting heavier and heavier. Sometimes we even take it out on other people and make them feel bad, too.

We can stop that cycle if we simply choose to forgive--to take that rock out of our backpack. Free from the weight of the rock, we can move forward and forget about it.

This morning we tested out this theory. I don't know what happened, but Melissa hurt Megan's feelings, and she chose not to apologize. Megan ran into the other room and sobbed and sobbed. When Daddy went to comfort her, he talked to her about forgiveness. I wasn't really part of the conversation, but I reminded her about carrying a rock in her backpack.

Within a few minutes, Megan was laughing. She jumped up and said, "I'm okay Mom. I took the rock out of my backpack." Then she went to her real backpack and took out a pebble. There really was a rock in her backpack!

Girls, I want you to know how important it is to forgive others--even when they don't apologize or realize that they have hurt you. When we don't forgive, our pain gets worse and worse. Once we let go, and forgive, Heavenly Father will help us get rid of the pain and move forward.

Don't forget to empty your backpacks regularly!

Love, Mom

P.S. Sometimes we hurt someone's feelings. Guess what? That puts rocks in our backpacks, too. When that happens, it's time to say we're sorry.